Our First Miscarriage

In March of 1994, we were very excited to learn we were pregnant with our third child. This was a much wanted and planned pregnancy, and we were elated. Almost immediately, I noticed that I did not feel pregnant. With my two boys, I was extremely sick for the entire 9 months. With this baby, I felt great. At the time, we decided that must mean we were having a girl. I did not have any spotting or cramping, and went to my 10 week check-up anxious to hear the heartbeat. My uterus was really growing, and my pants were getting tight. When my doctor heard how great I felt, he was immediately concerned. When listening for the heartbeat, there was nothing. He sent us for an ultrasound, and we found that the baby had not developed, and I had what is termed a "blighted ovum." There was a fetal sac and placenta, but no baby. We were devastated.

I also was given another term to go with this loss called "missed abortion". That is a horrible term used to describe women who's bodies have not noticed the baby is dead, and consequently do not have a natural miscarriage I personally want the word abortion removed from this situation. Nothing is worse than having this tragedy given such a horrible name. My doctor told me that I would probably have the miscarriage within a few days, and to go home and expect to start bleeding. He did not tell me how bad the bleeding would be.

When the actual m/c started, I was in shock. I bled so badly that I could not leave the toilet. I was terrified. We went to the emergency room. When I was taken to my room, a nurse told me to collect anything that came out of me and put it in this specimen cup. I could not believe I had to do that. While waiting for the doctor to arrive, another nurse walked in my room and asked me if I was pregnant. I started crying, told her I used to be pregnant and that my baby was over in that cup. She was pretty uncomfortable with that situation. Why wasn't there a note on my door letting personnel know I was miscarrying? I will never forget that experience for as long as I live. I think a lot can be done to help hospital personnel better deal with this devastating situation.

When the doctor (not my regular doctor) finally arrived, he tried to manually remove the placenta. After they peeled me off the ceiling, they decided to do a D&C. This D&C was not hard at all. I woke up from surgery and felt physically OK, and only bled slightly for 3 days. Apparently, this doctor believes in completely scraping the uterus and getting everything out, which I later learned can cause scarring and lead to further infertility.

I did not really grieve over this pregnancy, as I thought "Oh, well, everyone has a miscarriage sometimes." I was told to wait at least 3 months before trying again, but we accidentally got pregnant a month after the D&C. This begins the second miscarriage story.


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