(This letter was written by a mother to her pre-born baby. I send it to you all with the hope that it will help one or more of you find the peace to which she refers.)
I miss you. Oh, how I miss you!
I miss the *idea* of you -- knowing that you are with me. In me. A part of me. Waking up this morning without you was the loneliest feeling I've ever known.
I'm sad for you. That you will never know your own mother's arms and what it is like to be kissed gently on the forehead. And although I've never held you, my arms feel completely empty. Do you know how much love I already have for you? I may have carried you briefly under my heart, but you will always be forever in it.
I'm sad for me. That I had to say goodbye to you without ever properly saying hello. That all my hopes and dreams for you will be shelved along with the never-to-be used baby gifts...
And yet, you found your own way back to God. In the stillness of the mystery of the moment when your heart beat its last, you found yourself snugly in your Father's arms. And oh, the love He has for you! And what a future He has planned for your eternity.
And, oh -- my dear little one -- you will never experience sorrow or know confusion, or discouragement, or pain, or fear, or hate, or disappointment. God, in His goodness, has spared you from the sorrows and evils of this world. And for that, I am truly thankful.
That all you will only ever know is love, joy, and peace in a place of perfect contentedness. Wow.
I cannot imagine even one day when I won't think of you. Your brief presence in my life has enriched it, and your passing has unexpectedly given it deeper meaning and has fortified me with new hope and increased my faith in God.
And I WILL SEE YOU - for the first time - in Heaven. I think that we will be like two lovers urgently searching for each other in a crowd. I can't wait for the moment when our eyes finally meet and God places your hand in mine.
Until that day...
Love Always,
Your Mama
Contributed and Written by: Tamsen Mongelli Hamme
Just Say "I'm Sorry"
You don't know how I feel; please don't tell me that you do
There's just one way to know--have you lost a child too?
"You'll have another child"--must I hear this every day?
Can I get another mother, too, if mine should pass away? Don't say it was "God's will"--that's not the God I know.
Would God, on purpose, break me heart, then watch as my tears flow?
"You have an angel in heaven--a precious child above."
But tell me, to whom here on earth shall I give this love?
"Aren't you better yet?" Is that what I heard you say?
No! A part of my heart aches and I'll always feel some pain.
You think that silence is kind, but it hurts me even more.
I want to talk about my child who has gone through death's door.
Don't say these things to me, although you do mean well.
They do not take my pain away; I must go through this hell.
I will get better, slow but sure--and it helps to have you near.
But a simple "I'm sorry you lost your child" is all I need to hear.
--Gail Fasolo--
If I could take a minute out of each and every day.
To hold my child close to my heart and kiss his fears away.
If I could take a minute out of each and every week,
To play with blocks and peek-a-boo, tag or hide and seek.
If I could take a minute of any span of time.
I'd never waste a second of the pleasures that were mine.
If he could crawl upon my knee and lay his sleepy head,
upon my shoulder tenderly and dream of gingerbread.
I'd spend my time in total bliss and watch my small son grow,
from babyhood to childhood, knowing all there is to know.
If I could stop my aching heart and put my mind asleep,
If I could stop the flow of tears that are always on my cheek.
I only need a minute, Lord, I know he's safe with you.
But there's something real important that I had no time to do.
If you could do it for me, Lord here's a message he should know,
tell him that I Love Him, then I'll let him go.
Author Unknown
Just Those Few Weeks
For those few weeks - I had you to myself.
And that seems too short a time to be changed so profoundly.
In those few weeks - I came to know you...and to love you.
You came to trust me with your life, Oh, what a life I had planned for you!
Just those few weeks - when I lost you,
I lost a lifetime of hopes, plans dreams and aspirations..
.a slice of my future simply vanished overnight.
Just those few weeks - it wasn't enough time
to convince others how special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has recently died and no one is mourning the passing.
Just a mere few weeks - and no "normal" person would cry all night
over a tiny, unfinished baby, or get depressed and withdraw
day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I?
You were just those few weeks my little one
You darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed to make my life
so much richer and give me a small glimpse of eternity.
Author Unknown
To my baby
The one I can't hold
The one I won't see
Is what I'm toldI felt your little spirit
Living in me
Though such a short time
It was precious you see
My life seemed so perfect
My dream would come true
My own little bundle
Whether pink or blue
Everyone loved you
Just waiting to see
Would you look like your daddy
Or exactly like me
These are the things
We will never know
Because God in heaven
Said you needed to go
He must have his reasons
I can't yet understand
Did he come down to get you
Did he hold out his hand
Someday you can tell me
About His sweet embrace
As he took you from me
To that wonderful place
Until that day comes
Don't be afraid
Heaven is safe
For us it was made
I won't say goodbye
I can't cuz you see
You'll always be
A part of me
I love you my baby
My sweet little one
I'll see you again
When my time here is done
Love, Mommy
Jennifer Wasik
Angel In The Night
Angel in the night
Angel in the sky
Let us see the light
Let us quite rely
Our house is filled with sorrow
Our house is filled with grief
We hope that there's tomorrow
We hope that there's relief
Dark wonders of the universe
Dark wonders of the day
Travel through ours souls reverse
Travel through Your way
Slowly, softly, carefully
Quickly, loudly, carelessly
Stepping with foundation
Tripping with hesitation
We will see the light
We will just get by
Angel in the night
Angel in the sky
Jennifer Harris
Little Angels
When God calls little children to dwell with him above,
We mortals sometimes question the wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child,
Who does so much to make our world seem wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to his fold,
So He picks a rosebud, before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them,
and so He takes but a few
To make the land of heaven
more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult
still somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows
will always be "Goodbye."
So when a little child departs,
we who are left behind
Must realize God loves children,
angels are hard to find.
Author Unknown
EternityCould I have died so soon,
so soon that my cries
were silenced in your womb?
So soon that I'll never touch
your breast nor feel
your hands caress
my brow?
So soon that you never got
to sigh and cry
sweet tears of joy,
for your first child,
your first born boy?
Could I have died so soon?
I suspect not,
for I felt the passion
of your love around me
as my heartbeats slowed,
then stopped.
As I lay motionless,
I heard the misery in your cries
that
I would not be born alive
and wondered, why?
Yesterday father, you fathered me.
Today dear mother, you birthed me.
I was there, you were there,
we all stood witness.
I heard your whispers
that you love me.
I heard you tell each other
how beautiful I was viewed
in my eternal quietude.
I even felt your soft caress
as you held me to your breast.
On this morn, mourn not for me.
With ethereal grace I have a name.
I have a home, I have a life...
To live through all eternity.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
You're A Special Little Spirit
"You're a Special Little Spirit," the all great Master said,
As he gently caressed the curly blond hair of the Little Spirit's Head.
"you need to go to Earth to spend some time, you know,
A place I send most Spirits to be tested, to learn, to grow.
The Little Spirit, in sadness, slowly bowed her head,
And from her eye a tear did steal and down her cheek it shed.
"Don't you fret now little one, I won't let you stay too long,
I'll bring you back to help me here, You'll hardly know you've been gone.
You're my choicest Little Spirit, you're the apple of my eye."
And he wiped the tear and gently kissed His Little Spirit good-bye.
"I'm back," the Little Spirit whispered, as she climbed onto her Master's knee,
And the Master said, "I told you, you would not be long away from me."
And then, the Lord, He noticed still another tear welled in her eye.
"Why are you so sad, Little Spirit, whatever should make you cry?"
"I'm glad I'm back," the Spirit said, "but Master you must surely know,
When your angel came to get me, I didn't want to go.
I know you said you needed me and that I'd be gone the shortest while,
But Lord, couldn't I have had a little longer earthly trial?"
The Master let the Little Spirit slip down from His knee,
He firmly took the little hand and said,"Come walk with me."
The Little Spirit and her Lord walked slowly hand in hand,
As the Master explained Her special part in the great and marvelous plan.
"Now Lord, I don't mean to argue, I understand you need me home.
But I left in such a hurry, I left everyone hurting and so alone.
I didn't let my earthly parents know how much I loved them so.
I was much too small to tell them, Lord, how will they ever know?
They feel they've been cheated, and in a way so do I.
Not getting to share any more than we did, how can I ever tell them why?"
"Little Spirit, I know your heart is heavy with the message you need to share.
But you need not worry anymore, I'll watch over your loved ones there.
I'll send them loving comfort as a strong and helping hand.
I'll content and give peace to their aching hearts, so they will understand.
The Little Spirit looked up at her Master and said "Thank you for explaining it to me.
And could you please tell them I'm safe and happy and that someday they'll be here with me."
"Yes," said the Lord with a smile and a nod, "I'll tell them all that I can."
Then the others came to see the Little Spirit, as the Lord let go of her hand.
He said, "I'll tell them you're pure, as pure as Heaven's Gold,
That I needed the warmth of your perfect soul to keep Heaven from getting cold."
Author Unknown
If I can endure for this minute
Whatever is happening to me,
No matter how heavy my heart is
Or how dark the moment may be--
If I can but keep on believing
What I know in my heart to be true,
That darkness will fade with the morning
And that this will pass away, too--
Then nothing in life can defeat me
For as long as this knowledge remains
I can suffer whatever is happening
For I know God will break all the chains
That are binding me tight in the darkness
And trying to fill me with fear--
For there is no night without dawning
And I know that my morning is near.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
God's Rarest Breed
Angel, Little wonder
Little Promise, Little Boy
We didn't get to love on you
Or let you bring us joy
Our arms are filled with emptiness
Our hearts are filled with pain
We search for all the answers
Our response is only rain
He called for you to fill a need
We know that you'll succeed
You are special in this universe
You are God's Rarest Breed
A gift to let the stars shine bright
To help each of us see His Light
They can't tell us about the power of love
Cuz you were sent for from far Above
How were we to know
When we were planting your tiny seed
How important it was for you to grow
Into God's Rarest Breed
Jennifer Harris